hello internet!! Is anyone out there?

 Well I have no words to describe what happened to this blog! LOL!!! I had life happen okay! I have two toddlers now that take all my time and attention.  I am just here to remind you if you come across this that God LOVES YOU. HE WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU! People might've given on you but HE WONT ....EVER!!! I am praying that who ever reads this may feel His love in all the things around. That You never forget that he created you and made you with purpose!! 

okay bye internet!! 

Update!

 I am blogging again.I cant believe time has gone by so fast!I remember last year around this time i was very sad. I had just taken a pregnancy test and it was negative. I was so sure I was really pregnant. I felt something might be wrong. I kept feeling I was never going to be a MOM. Now to have my 2 month old baby be with us on Christmas , my heart is full of joy! Yes I am a MOM now. I still cant believe it.I get to have a such a gift. This year I will be blogging about JESUS, being a wife and now a mommy. I am excited to share my journey.

I am STILL HERE!!

Well  I am back! Yes I haven't blogged in 6 MONTHS!!!!!!!! I keep thinking I should make a video to speed things up but..... then I forgot!! So why haven't I blogged in the past 6 months??? Well everyone who ever reads this I am Pregnant! Yes!! There is a little tiny human growing inside me.  Me and my husband are very happy and beyond blessed. I am exactly 6 months pregnant. It has been HARD!!!!!!! So............. HARD to just sit down and write WITHOUT CRYING!!!!! I went from thinking I don't really need kids. I am good all by myself. I got nieces and nephews. To then getting married to my best friend. All I want is to share everything with him. I feel like when I got over my fears and gave my all to GOD. All the negativity I had ever carried about family went away. Lets not allow our PAST to taint the VISION of OUR FUTURE. God has the final word. When family came to our minds we both prayed before taking the step of becoming parents. We know good parenting does not happen over night. We prayed for guidance. We did not want to take this step because of our emotions. We wanted this to be a part of his plan for our lives.I prayed for this baby for months!!! Before I even took a test or even thought I might be a mom soon. I started to pray for my future kids.I wanted them to feel that presence of love. The greatest love I know is GOD. I ask him everyday to help me and guide our lives towards him. I might not blog very often after this post. I  will try to post as much as I can. I tried to post previous things before but I never finished. I was either having morning sickness or just plain tired. Now I am feeling better and  I will blog about my pregnancy experience soon!

26th Birthday & last post of this year! BYE 2015

all my Instagram pictures from 2015 

My birthday just happened at the beginning of this month. I am feeling great. I am thinking the older I get  the more exciting it is. I know people can shy from their age. For me I feel Gods blessings are becoming more known in my life. Yes I get distracted ALOT! I intend to forget this is what God has done. I always need a reminder of where I came from. Where he saved me from.One thing God has shown me from the moment we started this year and until now is Family. When I felt the most lowest they lead me to my healer.When I was about to give up they held my hand and prayed over me. They reminded me over and over again what God sees in me. I am a MESS!! They still want me around. hahahaha. The thing is they have always been here....I was not. They always open their heart and I wouldn't budge.I had a lot problems with my family.I kinda felt alone most of my life in that area. I am happy and privileged to be apart of a God loving Family.This year came with struggles. I am learning that every trial only makes me stronger. I thank God he never left my side. This year has also  brought many joys. His blessings in my life. Hes love for me. My husband who is amazing. I prayed for him many years ago. I know he answered my prayer. Hes everything I asked the Lord for him to be more. So to this 2015 I can say Goodbye! I am ready for 2016!

I am Alive

I have this song on repeat. It reminds me that hes in the middle of all the chaos. It brings me peace. I wanted to share just in case someone needs a reminder today. Hes there. Even though it all seems crazy and unstable hes working. Lets keep pressing towards him.

my hands are searching for you


My arms are outstretched towards you

I feel you on my fingertips


My tongue dances behind my lips for you


This fire rising through my being

Burning, I'm not used to seeing you


 I'm alive,
 I'm alive


I can feel you all around me


Thickening the air I'm breathing


Holding on to what I'm feeling


Savoring this heart that's healing


My hands float up above me
 And you whisper you love me


And I begin to fade


Into our secret place - Flyleaf (All Around me) 

( Thank you for reading) 

He loves me

He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree.

Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions.Eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me - How he loves (David Crowder) 

I am reminded everyday of the love he has for me. It might be easy to say yes!! Jesus loves me!!! Its different to accept it. Myself coming from a child hood that didn't really focus on loving each other or even showing affection. It seemed crazy to me to know that all this was done for me. He never asked for anything in returned to save my life. Everything He does is out of pure love. God looked at our life and said I want you. I want you to be a part of my family and I am willing to pay whatever price.He did it .....by giving his son to die on the cross. Be reminded today that He loves you!!

And we are His portion and He is our prize. Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes

How he loves (David Crowder)

About my camp experience this summer

I wanted to share a little about my experience at camp this summer.  Me and husband had the honor to host this year’s camp to a local church. We had a blast. Was I nervous? Yes! Like 85% of the time I kept thinking what I am I going to say or do. I was so nervous about speaking that I still don’t remember if I ate. It all went away with time. When Gods presence was in the room everything else was forgotten. All I could do is be happy to be in his atmosphere. I meet all these girls and we shared things about our life before the curfew when up every night. I thought I would feel weird not sleeping in my own bed. At the end I didn’t want to leave!! I am looking at myself like why can’t I be 16 again? I want to stay at camp forever. I was very moved by all the love and support. Days at camp felt like minutes!  If anyone who has a opportunity to volunteer at a camp…. I say DO IT! Just like every ministry we need all the help we can get. J  

Theses are the only pictures I had time to take! Its not many & I am missing way more pictures. 

Do you know what I want from you?

Hello JULY!!! I am back to blogging! I had taken some time off to reflect and learn. Yes it is Wednesday. I thought perfect timing! I am growing each time in my walk with God. I can see how he clearly has my family in his hands. Everyone keeps asking if we will have kids soon. I use to get kinda of sad in the beginning because I kept thinking maybe it is suppose to happen now. I could only see what’s in front of me. The doubt made me sad and grew into making me feel like a failure. I felt that way because this is one thing I couldn’t accomplish. I couldn’t say I am a woman if I didn’t bear children right now. I am laughing now as I read this!! This was my mentality . I was way far from what God needed me to do. I was to busy thinking God doesn’t want me to become a mom. My heart wants to be a mother. That had became my focus. I even got to a point to feeling like I didn’t want kids ever. Which is CRAZY? I know!!! but my heart had been hurt thinking all theses negative things. Then as I prayed one day I could hear God say. Do you know what I want from you? I am thinking God I am serving I am doing this and that at church. I then felt my heart ache. I asked God to forgive me. I understood that while doing this I never really did what he needed from me. I had put all thoughts and dreams in becoming a mom for myself! I left what he needed from me behind. I knew God has plenty of milestones I need to accomplish before I could even teach and raise my own children. My life direction switched. I see how God is opening doors and raining down his blessings upon our life. I know when it’s his time all of that will happen. I know he does everything perfect! I want that for my family to be in God’s hands all the time. I never want it to be me as the compass of this boat (MY FAMILY). I only want his direction always! I am happier than ever excited for everything that’s going to happen. I am grateful for everything he has given us. I can say me and my husband are blessed! Pleasing HIM is all we want!

Love your neighbor :)

For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”         Galatians 5:14 (NIV)

My verse today is in Galatians. This is a tough one. It is possible to do.... but hard! I am being COMPLETELY  honest. Its hard to love people especially if you don't really know them. I am a person who is not very sharing at first. I know the Lord is working in my life to be more open to everyone. I know its even harder when people have done some pretty messed up things. We have to try and love. Today's verse is a reminder for myself. I CAN forget very easily that I am suppose to have love FOR EVERYONE!I have to be ready to love in every situation. I need have some one on one time with God. I have to stay connected to the source to give. I CAN'T GIVE WHAT I DO NOT HAVE. Just a reminder :)

Radiance and Exact Imprint

I waited to blog this during the week. As week reflect on this Holy week I cant help but to be in tears. Its such a awe experience. We remember the sacrifice he made for us. He humbled himself took all of our shame, guilty and blame. He saved me. Hes still saving me. He doesn't stop loving me. He PURIFIED OUR SINS! He made it white as snow. There is no greater love.  Hes the RADIANCE of the Glory of God!! He UPHOLDS the UNIVERSE by the word of HIS POWER! after being crucified he rose on the 3rd day and sat at the right hand of the majesty on high! I will live to worship and praise his name always.