Hello JULY!!! I am back to blogging! I had taken some time
off to reflect and learn. Yes it is Wednesday. I thought perfect timing! I am
growing each time in my walk with God. I can see how he clearly has my family
in his hands. Everyone keeps asking if we will have kids soon. I use to get kinda
of sad in the beginning because I kept thinking maybe it is suppose to happen
now. I could only see what’s in front of me. The doubt made me sad and grew
into making me feel like a failure. I felt that way because this is one thing I
couldn’t accomplish. I couldn’t say I am a woman if I didn’t bear children
right now. I am laughing now as I read this!! This was my mentality . I was way
far from what God needed me to do. I was to busy thinking God doesn’t want me
to become a mom. My heart wants to be a mother. That had became my focus. I
even got to a point to feeling like I didn’t want kids ever. Which is CRAZY? I know!!!
but my heart had been hurt thinking all theses negative things. Then as I prayed
one day I could hear God say. Do you know what I want from you? I am thinking
God I am serving I am doing this and that at church. I then felt my heart ache.
I asked God to forgive me. I understood that while doing this I never really
did what he needed from me. I had put all thoughts and dreams in becoming a mom
for myself! I left what he needed from me behind. I knew God has plenty of
milestones I need to accomplish before I could even teach and raise my own
children. My life direction switched. I see how God is opening doors and
raining down his blessings upon our life. I know when it’s his time all of that
will happen. I know he does everything perfect! I want that for my family to be
in God’s hands all the time. I never want it to be me as the compass of this boat
(MY FAMILY). I only want his direction always! I am happier than ever excited
for everything that’s going to happen. I am grateful for everything he has
given us. I can say me and my husband are blessed! Pleasing HIM is all we want!
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